• Champagne cocktails
• Cheese
• Margot 
• Lemon water
• Love
• Kisses
• The internets
• The intertubes
• Ice
• Trees
• La Jolla
• Heavy carbohydrates
• Light carbohydrates
• Airport bars
• Window frames
• Buford Highway
• SSRIs
• AquaNet
• Belgian wheat beers
• CoffeeMate fat-free French Vanilla Creamer
• Butter
• Glitter
• Sex
• Quesadillas
• Crayons
• Pinterest
• Pear, goat cheese & prosciutto crudités
• Narcotics
• Bourbon
• Lemon curd
• Medium Dunlop guitar picks
• Cheese dip
• Star-shaped bullet points
• Sippy cups
• Eyebrow waxing
• Grilled cheese sandwiches
• Sequins
• Vibrators
• The right mix of squishy & firm pillows
• Imitrex
• Puppies
• fresh bergamot citrus perfume
• Sewing machines
• Mason jars
• Lace
• Cheese fondue

what about you? any ideas to add to the list?

Hi. It’s the intern. Again. So, I’m pretty much a fixture here.

Yay for that.

Anyways, in 10 days, it’ll be Mer’s birthday! Whee! Plan your celebrations, guys, because when Mer birthdays, she birthdays HARD. With that, I must introduce another crafter extraordinaire, who is near and dear to my heart. Her name is Ruth. She makes crocheted Cthulhus, at her site, Cthulhu Chick.

Banner links to her Etsy page.

What is a Cthulhu, you may ask? According to HP Lovecraft, its creator, in the 1928 horror story The Call of Cthulhu, Cthulhu is “represented a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind.”

Ick. Often drawn something like this.

But! When Ruth makes them?

I know what you’re thinking. Yes. They are the cutest thing that you will ever see. And not only are they this cute, but they are snuggly and awesome, too! I should know – I have one.

So now that you’ve seen what she does, this presents a prime opportunity for her to introduce herself to you. This is what Ruth has to say for herself.

Hi, I’m Ruth! I’m 25, studying for a Master’s in Library and Information Science with an undergraduate degree in English Literature. I’ve been working in libraries since I was 16 and I read an awful lot.

I’ve been crafting in some form or another since I was 6 or 7 and my mom introduced me to crocheting. I wasn’t very good at it until I got older. In fact, I rarely crocheted until the last year or so.

Then in 2009 I went on a Neil Gaiman kick.

I realized that to understand some of what Neil had written, I should really get around to reading Lovecraft. I knew a little bit about Lovecraft & Cthulhu before, but hadn’t really studied it. Fortunately, a few months before I decided to do this, Chris Lackey & Chad Fife had started the HP Lovecraft Literary Podcast.

I read most of the stories on my own, but I then discovered and listened to the podcast. It’s helped me read the less appetizing stories (Lovecraft wasn’t exactly the best writer ever and also wrote some disturbingly racist stuff) and formed a general sense of camaraderie.

What got me started on the Cthulhus was wanting a plush Cthulhu. Some people in my family, including me, have a mental issue where we can’t touch velvet/plush/corduroy/etc without our brains freaking out (think fingernails on a chalkboard). So I had to find an alternative and ran across the crocheting pattern. I bought a few eyes, made a couple for me, started giving them to friends… then I got hooked, and eventually started selling them.

I make several varieties of Cthulhu, but in my mind I divide them into 2 categories – commission & regular. They normally get done the same way, but I always preempt regular Cthulhus (to be listed when they’re done) with commissions.

I normally work on Cthulhus:

1) In the morning on my commute when I get a seat on the train

2) At lunch after I’ve eaten

3) On my commute home

4) While watching tv or reading or listening to audiobooks in the evening

5) In the car when I’m not driving.

I have various versions of my Cthulhu-kit I’ll pack… the bag with eyes, a bag with stuffing if I think I’ll get to that point, & my scissors, of course.

Howdy, y’all! It’s Mer’s intern, taking over for Mer, who has gotten increasingly whiny. Seriously. Someone needs to buy her some of the things she’s blabbering on about for More For Mer!* if only to shut her up.

Just kidding, all her whinging is endearing.

Not really.

Anyways.

Speaking of More For Mer!*, she has tasked me with writing tonight’s producty-reviewy-promoty-thingy. This time, it’s for a company know as Epheriell Designs. This is what she has to say about herself, with sidenotes by me in bold.

Hi all, I’m Jess, and I hail from the countryside about an hour north of Brisbane(Australia – the backwards cousin of the backwards cousin of America). My husband Nick and I are currently living with my parents while we subdivide their acreage – then we’ll be building our own home here, too! We love living in the country, it’s so quiet, with birds and animals all around. We’ll often take our cat for a walk around the property of an afternoon (no, not on a leash – he’s just very much a people-cat and will follow you around everywhere when he’s awake!).

Once upon a time I was going to be a research scientist. Then I was a teacher. Now? I run my business full-time, making jewellery, blogging, and launching a new Aussie zine called *bespoke*, all about handmade, vintage, photography, art, micro-business, eco-friendly goodness and much more – all in a sweet little A5 sized package that you can take anywhere(…wow. That actually sounds really cool)! I also build the odd website for fellow crafters. In short, I’m amazingly busy, all the time, and love, love, love it!

Until September 2008, I didn’t think of myself as a creative person at all! I was a scientist, a teacher – a logical, rational person… and I never felt totally fulfilled(I was going to write something controversial, but I figured that saying “BEARS” would be good enough. BEARS.).

Then, I went to Fiji. My boyfriend (now husband) Nick and I met a lovely fellow Aussie family. We became friends, and the day we left, the mother of the family gave me a novel to read – she’d read it, and decided to pass it on. I can’t remember what it was called, but it was a story about a woman who owned a yarn store in New York. When I finished that book, I decided to try knitting… and that’s where it all began(I should have read this beforehand. She seems awesome! I want to knit. I want that to be where it all began.)!

I discovered that I LOVED creating, making, working with my hands. The previously empty part of my ‘self’ was filled, and I finally became a whole person. I went from knitting to crochet to beads to resin to metal… and fell in love with metalworking(I know what she’s talking about, but it just seems like she should be making swords.). The Epheriell style as it exists now really started to come into being in mid-2009.

I love twitter, and it’s the best marketing tool out there! I have made so many friends (and sales) through twitter, and there is no way I could have launched *bespoke* so successfully if it wasn’t for the power of twitter and the connections I’ve made. It even landed me a radio interview (http://epherielldesigns.com/hello-radio )! (I have put 3 links to her Twitter – @jessvanden – in this post. Because Twitter is fun. And you guys might know that. So follow her. I guess?)

Info about Epheriell

I make sleek, contemporary jewellery using predominately recycled sterling silver – silver that is sourced from industrial processes and refined again to make eco-friendly metal! I love that I can use recycled materials in my designs. My work is modern yet fun – I want my jewellery to become people’s ‘go-to’ jewellery – something you love to wear every day, not just put away for a special occasion. I’ve had many people tell me that their pair of Urban Eco earrings have become the pair they wear every day, which is fantastic! (http://epheriell.com)

So that was barely altered. Anyways. I have no experience picking jewelery at all. Dangly bits for me are just zombie bait. So I had Mer choose her 3 favourite pieces of jewelery from Epheriell Designs. These are they.

So there. And turns out I do appreciate some jewelery. Here is my favourite.

Click on the pictures to be taken to their entries in Epheriell Design’s shop. Tech wizardry right there.

And to end this post, everyone got a lil’ crazy. Here are some questions Jessica answered for us here at Oh, THAT Meredith.

Oh, THAT Meredith: Is it too late to ‘pologize?

Jess Van Den: Never, but that’s not something I’m very good at!

OTM: Is this the real life?

JVD: Or is this just fantasy?

OTM: Favorite superpower?

JVD: Flight, totally! How cool would it be to soar up above it all…

OTM: What is your opinion on Nathan Fillion?

JVD: *fans self…*

On that last one, I can’t blame her.

Until next time.

Say, remember that time Mer managed to over-program herself, lose a friend to cancer, plan a whirlwind trip to Florida, get a monstrous and highly contagious viral infection, cancel her trip to Florida, throw a personal pity party and blush with mortification for 24 hours straight after her mother posted the only childhood story she was forbidden to post?

(And then start a post talking about it in the third person?)

Yeah, you know, that time. Incidentally, that time also coincided with a week in which my favorite people swooped in to cover my blog posts with their own funny (or plaintive) stories, which means I HAVEN’T HAD TO BLOG IN A WEEK AND OH SHIT DO I EVEN REMEMBER HOW.

The answer, of course, is no, because I don’t remember anything, regardless of ridiculo-crazy hiatus status.

And so, get excited, people, because tonight you’re being treated to the claptrap that currently rattles through my brain, without organization or thematic diction.

I simply don’t have the energy for malice aforethought.

Did you know that you can buy a White Castle-scented candle – conveniently raising money for Autism Speaks – and fill your house with the aroma of greasy, fake-oniony goodness?

I get buying shit for charity – yes, I am as sweet and generous as I look – but what I can’t quite figure out is why you’d do so. Maybe if you’re doing fast-food related penance?

Someone explain Catholicism to me here, quick.

‘Cause if your home smells like your favorite mustard-slathered cheat food, that should mean you get to eat some, right? And if you have filled your abode with the scent of that white-and-blue-boxed deliciosity AND you cannot imbibe said treats –

Wait. Wait right there.

This is not a case for justifiable homicide, dudes.

Now, if we were talking Krystal-scented merchandise, there might be some legal precedent to back you up. Or I might make some up. Either way, it’d be mighty compelling.

Shut up.

Speaking of Krystals, which I will now have on the brain until I can savor the little greasy squares with their perfectly square cheese! And little majestic patty! And the pickles! Ohhhh, the pickles!

Ahem.

This morning, while still too contagious and conscientious to grace my coworkers with my phlegmy, virally presence, I decided I was not too nasty infectious to cough my way through the grocery store and my local Krystal drive-thru to re-up on necessary supplies.

You see, my mother has taken ill. Sad, pathetic illness in the form of mild to moderate vertigo, will renders her dizzy and unable to stand, COMPLETE WITH SAD, PATHETIC BACK-OF-THE-HAND-TO-THE-FOREHEAD PITIFULNESS.

One might think that perhaps said illness – whose onset was sudden and (vaguely) acute – just might be FUCKING KARMA FOR POSTING THAT DAMN STORY.

Wait, seriously, you can’t see how this ties into the Krystals thing? You mean, proprietary greasy square beef patties on itty bitty greasy buns with diced onion, pickles, cheese and mustard AREN’T on your get-well supplies list?

That’s just blasphemy.

In addition to mmmmmmmmm I can’t say the name again I must have them I must I must I must I – cough.

Along with those heavenly sammiches, the Mer care package – in order to be the official Mer care package, let’s just be straight here – must also include relevant meds, sugar, salty starch, a Coca-Cola (yes, that’s a completely different requirement from “sugar”) and booze.

THIS IS THE TRANSITION HEX YOU THINK I MADE IT CLEAR ENOUGH I’M KINDA WORRIED EEEP.

Also, my ass must take this moment to thank Publix for their buy-one-get-one Snickers deal today.

So after coughing my smiles to Vera, my favorite Publix cashier, I toted her well wishes home with me, in the bag right next to said candy bars, Mama’s meds, the Coke and fries from Krystal and these two beautiful babies.

Interestingly, I researched and wrote an article on this line of wines last week, and wearing my professional panties, I could not throw myself on my knees before them and beg and plead that they love me forever.

I mean, look at that. Middle Sister. Drama Queen. CAN WE JUST DISCUSS THE PARALLELS PLEASE FOR A MINUTE HERE.

Or, you know, look at the wine. Now back at me. Now back at the wine. Now back? At me.

The girl has a bun.   <3   Favorite lazy hairstyle!

Brunette.   <3   We are so twinsies.

Wearing green.   <3 I FUCKING LOVE GREEN.

So, now that I’ve finally hitched up my bloggin’ panties again, Middle Sister, please take this ridiculous post as a sign of my love and DESPERATE DESIRE TO BE BESTIES FOREVER AND ALWAYS AND PLAY AT FUN PARTIES AT BLOGHER AND BLOGALICIOUS AND NEW YORK BRIDAL FASHION WEEK AND EVERYTHING EVER AND ALWAYS.

Cough.

For my next trick, I will magically transition from disgustingly tedious fangirl blogger into the brilliant, suave, underspoken and oversexed PROFESSIONAL WRITER you all know and love.

Interestingly, I have, in fact, not imbibed one drop of that magical elixir we call boxed wine tonight – I’m saving the Middle Sisters bottles for a special occasion this week, ladies, I promise! – nor the Indian beer I was craving with my lamb samosas earlier.

Seriously, nothing pairs better with those crazy-ass dumplings than a little Taj Mahal, amirite.

No, this overly long rambly post comes straight to you from the unadulterated, sober mind of, well, someone who’s on lots of cold medicine and can’t get enough sleep.

And indeed, I can’t find a way to bitch about my wine-less state without sounding like I’ve got a problem.

But a bitch ain’t one?

GOOD LORD MEREDITH BACK ON TRACK

What I mean to say is I love wine. I reeeeeeally love wine. But you know what I love more?

No, asshole, not attention. Wine is wayyyy better than attention.

But my hero, Guilty Squid? She’s even better than wine.

See, this one time? She started turning blue. No, really, blue. Which is, like, SO OBV a sign of superheroness I cannot even believe I have to explain this to you. And then she just ABSOLUTELY GOT ME, like, really, really got me! In her post about Smokey the fucking Bear, that asshole.

So, what I’m saying here, badly, because apparently I’m losing some steam here, three pages in, is this bitch is the fucking best. (And y’all, she just used a hashtag in an IM conversation and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO CUTE I CAN’T STAND IT.)

And I mention her today of all days because she is a candidate in one of this decade’s most important political races. Our children’s futures depend on your vote, people, for your favorite self-proclaimed internet superstar and mine.

Guilty Squid is the leading candidate in the 2010 election of Honorary Internet Coroner.

I’m not sure I can adequately express how important this election is. So, fuck it, I’m not even gonna try. Just take my damn word for it, ok? YES I’LL SEND YOU BAKED GOODS. Fuck, y’all are so needy.

So. Go here. Read this. And vote.

Tweet your little hearts out.

TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!