Tonight, my lovelies, tonight I received a very special present.

I’ve longed for this gift for years, decades — my life! Oh, how I’ve longed, how I’ve ached, for this simple little thing.

But tonight, my wish was granted. That wonderful mother of mine, one ‘Jane’ of much notoriety, has fulfilled my dream to, one day, own a pair of blinged-out lab goggles for wearing while chopping onions.

And so I share with you this mighty joyous day, through this handy set of dramatically lit photographs.

You’re welcome.

look. at. the. ferocity.

no, i did not have to define 'blinged-out' for her. though she was concerned they were not 'blinged-out' enough.

and now at a dramatic angle!

the eyebrow really accentuates my fierce expression.

money shot.