Now that we’ve survived Thanksgiving, family and, for the sadists among us, shopping on Black Friday, we’re down to a mere 16 shopping days until my birthday, ONE SINGULAR DAY before Hanukah starts and only 24 to get it wrapped before the jingle bells rock.
People, this is crunch time.
And of all the products I’m shilling during the more for mer! campaign, these guys? Are maybe my faves. SHHHH DON’T TELL ANYONE ELSE.
Seriously, if you haven’t yet checked out the ridiculous brains behind Modern Bird Studios, and the cool shit they do, you’re so far behind on the internet, you probably don’t know Charlie Bit Me or Kittens Inspired by Kittens or Sneezing Panda. So you go do that and then come back, mmmkay?
Now that you’re sufficiently amused, you are prepared for the following interview. I like it personally because I didn’t have to do a single damn thing to make it happen. Not only did I annoy the fuck out of Megan with eleventy billion (or 15) emails, I then made her write her own interview questions and conduct the interview itself.
I love it when that happens.
(This, people? Is why I am good at what I do. By which I mean this is the very first time I have ever said, “ok, you do this for me now,” and someone responded with, “how high.”)
Now, I’m not going to waste anyone’s time – and certainly not my own – explaining why a Modern Bird piece is so amazing. You’re welcome to go drool over their gallery and blog just as much as you’d like. After you buy me a present.
Which I should probably tell y’all about, if I want you to buy me things to furnish it. Hmm. Well. I’m redoing the guestroom. It’ll be an office. To borrow someone’s handy catchphrase, “boom.”
Now that that’s out of the way, let me impart to you one last incredibly important detail: IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THIS TO ME FOR CHRISTMAS, TODAY IS YOUR LAST DAY TO ORDER TO ENSURE SHIPPING ON TIME.
That’s right. Last day.
Don’t get me wrong – I love surprises, so if you’d like to order it tomorrow, just to put a shocked smile on my little shayne punim, I understand and would be thrilled to receive my own Modern Bird art on Boxing Day. HINT, NUDGE AND WINK, PEOPLE.
The Interview d/b/a Why You Should Buy Me Art by These Guys
What made you into the artistic Ronin that you are today?
Gregg: ‘Artistic Ronin? Who writes this stuff? I dunno, I guess the stuff I do is kind of a culmination of everything I’ve done up to this point. It’s funny how that turns out. What ultimately became a nightmare of a situation puts a fire under you to do or die. We are trying to do. I’ve always created, and literally everything I’ve done creatively applies to what we’re doing right now. Kind of amazingsauce.
Megan: *stares proudly at her husband*
How did you become an internet company sensation?
Megan: *blushing* Wow. Well, I would say ‘internet company sensation’ is WAY overstating it! I don’t think we’ve been around long enough to achieve that status, but if you think we’re doing a good job in our efforts, then we’ll take it!
Gregg: I don’t know about the internet company part, but sensation? It’s a long time coming.
How do you handle the groupies?
Megan: It depends on their moods. If they are feeling stabby, we give them a little distance and agree with everything they say. Otherwise, we fully embrace them and love them and laugh with them. Our groupies are the best groupies in the world, although none of them have tattooed our logo on their persons yet…that we are aware of… Meredith, do you have our logo tattooed on your butt?
**Meredith: Not yet, but if I can have free art for life – can you just imagine how demanding I could get? – I would so do it. Both cheeks, baby. (I believe I can now be considered officially a whore, rather than just understatedly desperate.)
Gregg: We have groupies?
Do the paint fumes affect your creativity?
Gregg: While taking away my sense of smell, they are actually helping my creativity. I’m sure I’ll end up with cancer any day now. How’s that for a pick me up. That also means my work will be worth more, so hold onto those, people. What were we talking about? Jeez, I feel lightheaded.
Megan: Yeah, buy now, eBay later.
Why do you think every household in America should have a Modern Bird Studios piece?
Megan: We feel everyone should experience the awesomegravy of a Modern Bird Studios piece, in real life, first hand. Our goal, and if Oprah would endorse it already, is to become a household name. Or not. Well, we are a household name to about 13 households, and of those, only 9 are outside our actual blood relatives. If you are wondering, there are still 2 households in our immediate family who have no idea what Modern Bird Studios is. But seriously, we love to make people cry. And they won’t cry if they don’t have a lovely piece of their child or their loved one or their pet if they don’t order one. They cry because they love. Us.
Gregg: I’m feeling a bit steamrolled here. Next question.
Why do you get most of your work done between the hours of 1 am and 4 am?
Gregg: 1) I’m a night owl. While I like sleeping, I am more comfortable staying up late the most. 2) It’s the only time during the day I can do fully uninterrupted work and focus on what I’m doing the way I do it. Working from home with two kids (and a wife) can take its toll on streamlining my time. Late nights are my saving grace. The lack of sleep, however…
Megan: I sleep during those hours. Someone needs to.
What makes you tick?
Megan: Gregg will probably say 5-hour energy drinks. Hmm… I would say Snicker bars, reality TV, Gregg’s sexy cycling spandex and, of course, our kids.
Gregg: *sigh.* Yeah, what she said. Including the spandex.
Would you ever pull a publicity stunt for additional exposure?
Megan: Us? Seriously?? I’m almost offended by this question. Everything we have done to date has been a publicity stunt.
This question is for you, Gregg — how did you get so lucky to have such a wonderful, supportive, cool, pretty, strong, lovely, hilarious, stylish, amazing, adorable wife?
Megan: I’m waiting on Gregg’s answer here… and it had better be good…
Gregg: …Seriously? This was a set up.
What is the origin of ‘boom’?
Megan: It was an evolution. I have been addicted to ‘oh snap’ for so long, and then ‘boom’ just showed up on my doorstep one day. I hesitantly scooped it up into my loving arms, gave it a chance, and then it took over my life. Boom.
Gregg: That is actually wrong. I’m friends with a professional cyclist named Michael Creed. He’s funny as hell. He planted the word on me, and I started using it lightly, but it’s been like a meth addiction. Now it’s all the time. Boom. Everybody is doing it now.
If you could wrap your arms around any celebrity, dead or alive, who would it be?
Megan: Aside from Meredith (duh!), I would have to say either Clint Howard (Ron Howard’s obscure brother who cameos in every movie known to man) or this creepy chick:
I think if she had a friend to hug her, she’d clean herself up a little bit and get roles in happier movies like Anne of Green Gables.
Gregg: Chuck Woolery, or Jesus. I can’t decide.
…I rest my case.