Press Release Source: Meredith’s Hot Inc. On Tuesday, October 26, 2010, 11:00 pm EDT
ATLANTA, GA, Oct. 26 / MerNewsNetwork / – In an announcement that surprised her vast fan base, internet celebrity Meredith Blumoff this afternoon endorsed leading internet superstar Guilty Squid in the worldwide election for internet coroner.
As previously reported, after a spiritual weekend with her Reiki master, the Texan superstar decided to realign her fame and outreach in an effort to improve the world around her, namely the interwebs.
Along that vein, Ms. Squid reportedly meditated on the subject, rather than research and weigh options, and in an epiphany, realized her life’s ambition would be to serve as coroner of the internet.
“Today, my friends, I am announcing my candidacy for the position of Honorary Coroner of The Internet. Friends, this is not a decision I took seriously,” said the superstar during a televised junket earlier this week. “Rather, I just jumped right in without even thinking about it. I don’t have any illusions about the hard work it will take to win, in fact – it was pretty hard work to even GET here. So, there’s that.”
Ms. Blumoff, of course, known for her pithy statements and profound blog posts, has never before entered into the political arena in any way, preferring to spend her mental and emotional energy on much more serious issues facing mankind, not least of which include her hair and footwear choices.
However, encouraged by her mother Jane, the young idol stated this afternoon that she felt it her duty to speak up about the importance of the role of internet coroner and encourage others to vote.
“My friends, it is a new day in my world, as I dip my perfectly pedicured toes into the political waters speaking to you today,” Ms. Blumoff said in a strong, quiet voice. “While I have avoided the nasty world of politics before now, I feel I must speak to you about an important crisis facing our nation. And other nations, too. All of them.”
Ms. Blumoff continued talking about the importance of the position and of the race, as it faces a new population in a new era, even relaying internet forensic pathology statistics in her speech.
She then continued brightly, “And that is why I am taking this moment out of my very busy day to lend my support to the very best candidate for the job, my friend Guilty Squid!”
The announcement, of course, was greeted with the enthusiastically positive response to which Ms. Blumoff is accustomed.
While the young celebrity’s friendship with Ms. Squid has been well documented, it does come as quite the shocker that Ms. Blumoff would involve herself in any way in a political race. Indeed, this intrepid reporter finds herself none too astonished the young beauty understands the impact her backing will have on the election, or the vast importance the election itself holds.
Nevertheless, all citizens of the internet are encouraged to exercise their right to vote in this election for whichever candidate they feel will do the best job.
Cough, cough, Guilty Squid.