People, I deserve praise.
First up, I went to an antiques auction (and accompanying little-old-lady antiques shop) and ONLY bought a vintage wire dressform (BE JEALS) and a pair of Frederick’s of Hollywood cherry red marabou slippers because COME ON.
I refrained from throwing myself at the blblblblbl-ing auctioneer for a chance at either the 10-inch cast bronze unicorn OR the 6-foot brass elephant head OR this chandelier, which they did not sell and, frankly, should just have given to me. I mean, really.
And DAMN that hurts.
Then, I successfully friend-raped this chick, who has the audacity and/or good luck to share my name AND happens to be funnier than me, have an online empire and pepper her writing with Yiddish phrases.
Of course, this means I’m in love.
I also made soup for a sick stepdad and candies for the people who wrote my brother the recommendation letters that got him into fucking Yale with a huge fucking stipend and goddamn health insurance and I’m really doing well with not being fucking bitter about it.
But really, I’ve got to say, my big accomplishment in this past week was the discovery of these guys. And really, there’s nothing more to say.