Also? Chocolate. And @AllieGresham.
And stories of TOEFL scores, German fairytales, quilt patterns, the appropriate age for marriage based on lifestyle choices and/or suburban living, boob jobs, the cheese varieties on the most amazing grilled cheese sandwich to ever grace these luscious lips, plans for lingerie shopping and the welcoming nature of pumpkin scones.
It was a busy evening.
Because you all await each of my pithy tweets with bated breath (go ahead, loves, breathe), you know that Doctor Sister has arrived, with Doctor Brother-in-Law in tow, and brought with her a handy dandy plan to FIX MY FUCKING HEADACHE.
I’ll spoil it all for you now: It does not.
In fact, Dr. B.I.L. took one look at me, flicked me in the forehead (affectionately?) and pronounced the headache to be what Dr. Sister believed from the start: a viral infection of the sinuses.
Which means I handed that fucking urgent-care doctor 300 of my (vaguely) hard-earned cash monies for the PRIVILEGE of sitting in his waiting room listening to some bitch on her cell phone (They’re always bitches when they’re loud, but I never am. Hmm. Conundrum.), for the PRIVILEGE of enduring his highly unpleasant nurse and for the PRIVILEGE of getting two shots IN MY BUM.
I would like to take this perfectly timed opportunity to whine, again, about how those spots are still sore to the touch. Poor bum.
Nay, I have a virus and it really hurts and that really sucks. The end.
But in related news, the (disgustingly cute) Dr. Married Couple also agree I have a vitamin D deficiency, like the majority of the U.S.’s population, which has caused-slash-exacerbated my chronic generalized musculoskeletal pain.
Fuck, that was a mouthful to remember. Don’t tell me if I fucked it up, jerks. Thank you.
Now, I don’t know if you know much about vitamin D – it’s the shit they put in milk and you get from the sun – and somehow the milk fat and the sun combine in a Captain Planety way to give you good, happy vitamin D.
See? I so understand science.
Most adults north of the southern states (shut up; I know I’m in a southern state; I’m fucking special, ok?) are deficient in vitamin D for the better part of any given year because it’s cold outside and snowy and windy and other things I hate like sleet and OH EM EFF GEE FREEZING RAIN IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
So, when one is vitamin D deficient, one needs more vitamin D. (Shut up.) Ways to get more vitamin D include getting those lovely UVA and UVB rays we all run screaming from in the form of sunscreen in every body and skincare product we own and taking these adorbs little tiny gel caps with a meal that includes fat.
Clearly, I need to worry about that, because I often eat meals that contain no fat. WTF HOW DO YOU HAVE A MEAL WITH NO FAT HOW TERRIFYING OH LORD.
As its reception INSERT SCIENCE HERE is aided by the sun, pill-form vitamin D is also called liquid (or bottled) sunshine.
AHA! Enter Google Image search!
It is at this time I would like to offer other ‘liquid sunshine’ products as potential replacements for the silly little gel caps.
Dr. Sister, are you listening?