In which I announce truly revolutionary developments in blogging.
Press Release Source: Meredith’s Hot Inc. On Sunday September 19, 2010, 10:45 pm EDT
ATLANTA, GA, Sept. 19 / MerNewsNetwork / — In a shocking announcement that’s sweeping the World Wide Web, OhThatMeredith.com, the nation’s newest hotspot for celebrity socialite Meredith Blumoff’s innermost thoughts and desires, revealed that the young luminary will be magnanimously opening her blog to her mother, the reclusive Jane, who hasn’t granted an interview in decades, until now.
Known only by her first name, Jane’s past is an enigmatic one, having been guarded by her powerful family. What little is known, however, has been shared by her famous daughter, through a few brief glimpses into her home life, generally as the VIP connects with her fans on the celebrated micro-blogging service, Twitter.
“We’ve been so pleased to provide Ms. Blumoff with this creative outlet, as she shares her personal life with her over 1.7 million followers,” said Twitter Co-Founder Evan Williams in an interview. “She’s just so sweet and humble, I follow her myself. I love how down-to-earth and accessible such a big star can be!”
While Ms. Blumoff’s mother does not currently have plans to join the social media service herself at this time, she did state today, in an unprecedented public announcement attended by all major news outlets, that she will be opening her heart and mind to her adoring public in a weekly syndicated column called “The Book of Jane.”
“I am thrilled to have the opportunity to share with other women my experiences raising a superstar. As I’m sure you’ll understand, it has not always been easy to look after such a powerful social force, to nurture her into the prominence she has now gained,” said Jane in a prepared statement. “I look forward to offering you all a look into the way I have guided her to this day.”
Jane’s column will appear in place of her daughter’s Sunday post, in a reversal of what Meredith herself called her mother’s only rule: “that all good daughters call their mothers on Sundays.” Citing this as her most powerful moral guidance, the socialite, whose history has, indeed, been plagued by unfortunate incidents and social missteps, was effusive in her praise of this development.
“Oh, my gah! I’m just, like, sooooo happy that Mama’s joining me on the blog! I mean, she’s been sooooo important to me for, like, ever, you know? And I’m just so happy you guys get to see her, too! Because, you know, blogging is becoming this, like, really great new media, and for Mama to be at the beginning of that with me? Seems like the best idea ever,” enthused the starlet. “I’m sooo glad I came up with it all by myself.”
Launching Sept. 26th, “The Book of Jane” will cover a wide variety of themes, in an effort to be accessible to all of Ms. Blumoff’s fans. According to a spokesperson close to the family, some of the topics will include, but are not limited to, parenting a young celebrity, successfully living as a recluse and managing a large house-staff. This will add a new direction to the socialite’s already weighty topics, such as laundry, her brief incarceration and her hair.